[so we had kissed and then I brought him home for Thanksgiving...]
Mr. Cob came home with me for Thanksgiving in 2005. I was very vague in explaining to my family who was coming with me. A friend from school. I'm still not sure why my mom didn't ask me more questions about who he was and why he was coming to dinner. Then again, she loves a crowd and has a "the more the merrier" attitude. So the fam welcomed this mystery man.
He made an impression on them immediately. He's funny. Which helps. But then he didn't eat Thanksgiving day dinner with us, which was odd, but didn't seem to affect any one's opinion of him. Before we started doing this dating dance, an old friend from high school who lived in GA invited Mr. Cob to eat turkey dinner with her family, knowing he didn't have time to fly home to the Midwest for the holiday. He said yes, grateful for the invitation, and not knowing I was about to come around. Luckily her family lived ten minutes away from mine so he didn't have to go far. After I dropped him off, I came home and took a little nap. Afterwards, as I was walking downstairs, before anyone realized I was up, I heard my mom, brother's fiance and mom's best friend all talking in the kitchen. "Who was this boy? What was our relationship?" I sat and smiled as I heard them talk about how they liked him and hoped that maybe some sort of romance was brewing.
They were right.
Our romance took off from there. I realized I really, truly cared about him when he was home for over two weeks during Christmas and we could only talk on the phone. I missed him and finally saw that this the real thing.
The rest, as they say, is history. And tomorrow, we'll celebrate our second wedding anniversary. I am a lucky girl. I married a wonderful, loving and kind man. I'm forever grateful that I finally woke up and saw him for the amazing guy he is. I love you Mr. Cob. More than you'll ever know.
How big is baby? According to my weekly email from the America Pregnancy Association, baby has grown to over 15.5 inches in length and weighs between 3.5 to 4 pounds.
Maternity clothes? Rockin
Weight - Loss or Gain? Again, still haven't been on the scale. Stomach is definitely getting bigger though...
Stretch marks? Nada - yippie!
Sleep? I've actually been sleeping pretty good this week. The body pillow is key.
Any movement? Lots. I was kept up by hiccups on Friday night. I feel him moving lower in the belly these days so I'm hoping that means he's head down and I'm feeling him punch me...although, I worry a bit that he's breech and its his kicks that I'm feeling instead. But I'm not too concerned because he still has plenty of time to flip to the correct position.
Food Cravings? No strong cravings this week. Just hungry in general.
Food Aversions? Nope - everything still tastes great.
Gender? Male, as far as we know.
Belly Button in or out? Still innie, though I'm starting to question how much longer this will last...
What do you miss? Being able to drink water without having to take a trip to the ladies room every 30 minutes...
What are you looking forward to? Setting up the nursery, which will hopefully begin this weekend. First step: painting the room green! I'm also looking forward to celebrating 2 years of wedded bliss with Mr. Cob tomorrow!
What was the BEST part of this week? Being a part of my friend Jenn's beautiful wedding and spending the weekend at the Ritz! Luckily my bridesmaids' dress fit and looked OK.
What was the WORST part of this week? Two bad parts of the week - work was very trying last week and one of my best friends lost her grandmother this weekend in an unimaginable way and I wish I could do something to lessen her pain and sadness.
Weekly Wisdom? Call your loved ones and tell them that you love them.
Milestones: We are now into the single digit week countdown until Lukas is due to arrive!
Last night we had our second to last HypnoBirthing class. And Mr. Cob, for the first time, did not like the class. Or I should say he didn't like a major aspect of this class. Up until this point everything about the class has been very positive and empowering. My views about child birth have dramatically shifted in the past month we've been in the class and I now feel like I have the tools to handle labor and delivery and to have an unmedicated birthing experience. The essence of the class is letting go of fear and embracing the fact that my body knows what to do when it comes to having the baby.
And then last night, we discussed ways to handle a situation that many women go through when they attempt an unmedicated labor. Defeat. According to our instructor, many women will be great in the beginning of labor, but then will hit a point, usually when you are close to transition (i.e. when you're dilating from 8-10cm), where you just start doubting yourself and your ability to keep going. So we had to role play and practice how we would handle this situation if it occurs.
I think Mr. Cob didn't like this because in a way, even addressing this possibility, opens up the chance that it will occur. Up until this point, we've been more of the mindset that "I can/will do this!"
For me, I thought it was worthwhile to think about and prepare for this possibility. I am 100% committed to making every effort to have an unmedicated labor and delivery. But I also realize that at some point I may get overwhelmed or feel like I just can't do it any more. And so I want a plan. Our plan, which we still need to work out a bit, I think, will be for Mr. Cob to just keep encouraging me and telling me how great of a job I'm doing. Essentially, boost my confidence as much as possible. And then if this doesn't work, I think we start negotiating. I think if he tells me to just get through 5 or x number of surges, then he'll get the doctor and check to see how far I've progressed and then we can talk pain options. And at that point hopefully I will either (a) renew my determination to continue unmedicated or (b) have progressed far enough that my mind jumps into action and convinces myself that I only have a little ways to go and can totally do it. I guess I thought it was along the lines of the saying "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."
But I will say that I totally believe in HypnoBirthing. The mind-body connection is very strong and this class has reinforced this belief for me. And I'm not going to let other people's birthing experiences give me fear or allow my lifelong history of people telling me that I have a low threshold for pain get in my way of believing that I can do anything that I set my mind to.
So this is the third week in a row that I don't have a good picture for you. I do have one from this past Friday night, but I forgot to upload it. And Mr. Cob and I can't seem to get our act together in the mornings to take a picture. So I don't have a "real" picture again today. Maybe tomorrow.
I figured no one cared, since I don't get too many comments on the bump pictures, but so far today I've been asked a few times what gives with the lack of weekly pooch picture. So I'll try harder to document these last ten weeks.
And in an effort to keep up, here is a self portrait from my phone...I think the bump has surpassed the boobs...
[last time on lawyer love...After the Attempted Assassination, a day went by and then Mr. Cob had started to woo me again and we were hanging out, as friends...]
So we were friends. Life was grand. And then Mr. Cob went to jail.
Ok, I should back up. (And note that I got his permission before sharing this part of the story with the world...) Before school started in August, Mr. Cob was out with some friends enjoying some beverages. He drove home and was pulled over by a cop. He blew just over the legal limit and got a DUI. Anyone who knows Mr. Cob knows this is not in his character at all and this experience affected him in a serious way. He was, and still is, extremely embarrassed. And while Mr. Cob never thought he had been drunk while driving, the experience was a wake-up call to the fact that he could, and should, be safer in some situations. In short, it helped him grow up. But more than that, it turned out that this, one of the lowest points in his life, might just be the reason we are together today.
So in Georgia if you get a DUI you have to serve 24 hours in jail as part of your punishment, along with losing your license for a a few months. Mr. Cob was scheduled to finish out the remaining 20 hours or so of jail time (subtracting the couple he served that night) in early November. He went in on the Friday afternoon after assassination night and was supposed to be out around 1 p.m. Saturday afternoon. He told me he'd call me on Saturday when he was done in the afternoon and we'd made plans to do something fun to cheer him up. Well the afternoon rolled around and I didn't hear from him. Afternoon turned into early evening and still nothing. At this point I became concerned. I think I must have tried calling him every ten minutes until he eventually called me later in the evening. He ended up having to stay longer than he'd originally thought. Bad for him at the time, but good for him in the long run. It was during this two hour time period that I realized I really liked him. I was sincerely worried about him and it hit me that I cared more than as just the friend I kept insisting I remain.
Once he was free he met me and some friends at Chilis for dinner. We then went back to Katie's to watch a movie. A movie Mr. Cob picked. The movie: Swingers. Swingers is "This is a story about Mike, a guy who left his girl in New York when he came to LA to be a star. It's been six months since his girlfriend left him and he's not doing so good. So, his pal and some other friends try and get him back in the social scene and forget about his 6 year relationship." (thanks IMDB). Mr. Cob realizes as we are watching the movie, that this may not have been the best pick for me...i.e. "Mike" trying to get over an ex by getting back in the dating game. He claims he just loves the movie and didn't have any underlying motivation. And for what its worth, I didn't even make the connection when we were watching the movie.
I drove him home that night and we sat in my car talking for a while. But I continued to be coy. I think we hugged goodbye, lingered a bit longer, and then he left.
We spent more and more time together outside of class and the law library over the next few days. But still we were "just friends."
Until one night a few days later. We laid on my couch talking for hours and finally, I set all my ridiculous fears aside and kissed the man.
So in a span of ten days we went from my breaking up with him before we even began to kissing on my couch. But we didn't have "the talk". Instead I just brought him home for Thanksgiving to meet my family, without telling them anything more than "I'm bringing a friend from law school home for Thanksgiving." And then Mr. Cob didn't even eat Thanksgiving day dinner with us. It was a great first impression...
The Bump.com is a website devoted to babies and mommas-to-be. (It's in the same family as theknot.com for when you're getting married and thenest.com for newlyweds). Like any website, it has some good information and some not-so good info. But one of the best part of the site is their community section where you can find out what other preggos who are due around your due date are going through. Every Monday there is a survey and I was reading the answers from the other mothers in the "November 2010 Moms" group. I thought it'd be fun to share with you my answers to the survey (even though I didn't actually answer the survey on the website...)
How far along are you? 29 weeks 6 days
How big is baby? According to the internet, about 3 pounds. The size of a squash.
Maternity clothes? Every day, all day. I'm rotating the same 6 dresses to work (black, black with polka dots, red and black, blue, purple wrap and maroon) and live in gaucho pants and tank tops at home. I have a jean skirt that makes regular appearances on the weekends and casual Fridays. And a few more non-work appropriate dresses for the weekends and after work. This weekend I'll even be sporting a yellow maternity BRIDESMAIDS dress! Stay tuned for pictures...
Weight – Loss or Gain? This is a silly question, but I guess it's meant to mean loss or gain from last week. Well I only weigh myself at my monthly doctor's appointment, so I don't know the answer to this. But if I was a betting gal, I'd say gain. Definitely gain.
Stretch marks? NOPE! Hallelujah.
Sleep: Boo. Today is not the day to ask me about sleep. Last night I tossed and turned all night and woke up feeling as though I didn't sleep at all. But on the other hand, some nights I've been sleeping great.
Any Movement?: All. The. Time. Yesterday morning I woke up laughing because I was being tickled on my left side...from the inside. It was so odd, but also very cool. Lukas is a strong kicker and he seems to know when his daddy's puts his hand on my belly. He comes over and kicks hello. It's very cute.
Food Cravings?: The same -orange juice, milk, sweets (ice cream or cookies) and Pad Thai. Oh and I do have a new one - arugula salad with grapes, Gorgonzola cheese and salad dressing (EVOO, white wine vinegar, honey & shallots) - its delicious.
Food Aversions?: You mean to tell me people don't like certain foods when they are pregnant? I missed this memo. I love everything.
Gender?: Me: Female. Although, if you ask the social security office, they'd say male. Details, details. Oh wait, I think the question was about the baby. He's a boy.
Belly Button in or out? Innie. Very far in.
What do you miss: Where shall I begin. Wine. Sleeping on my back. Real sushi. Rare steaks and hamburgers. Dirty vodka martinis. Running. 98% of my wardrobe.
What are you looking forward to: Meeting Lukas. And then drinking a glass of wine while laying on my back eating sushi and a rare steak after running for an hour and then downing it with a martini while wearing one of my size 6 dresses.
What was the BEST part of this week? Hum, a few high points from the week - Mr. Cob came back home from vacation last Monday. Hypnobirthing class on Wednesday was great. I spent Saturday with my momma and she's amazing. And last night Mr. Cob hypnotized me. All good times.
What was the WORST part of this week? Shopping at a Pea In a Pod. Let's just say there was a bit of an emotional meltdown and the saleswoman didn't end up on the right side of the pregnant lady...
Weekly Wisdom: Avoid maternity stores at all costs.
So Mr. Cob worked up the nerve to ask me out to dinner. I said yes. He must have breathed a sigh of relief as it is never easy to ask someone on a date. You'd think the hard part was behind him. You would be wrong.
I'm not sure how we picked the place, but our first real dinner date was at The Blind Pig Tavern in Athens. Oh, it's a "classy" establishment. A sports bar of sorts and stomping ground for drunken college kids. But it was right next to my apartment and in walking distance of the law school. I guess we went for convenience sake.
So after class one night (I think it was the Tuesday after our GA/FL weekend), off to dinner we went. I was nervous. Not nervous in the way a girl gets nervous when she's about to go on a date with a cute boy (which he was and which I should have been), but nervous because I knew what I "needed" to tell him at dinner.
I had convinced myself that letting myself be interested in Mr. Cob was a very bad idea. Less than three weeks prior I had ended a tumultuous year plus relationship and was not fully over it. I still talked to the ex (big mistake) and in the back of my mind, I'm sure I thought that maybe one day, things would work back out with him. You could say I had a hard time letting go. So I put up a huge wall and decided I couldn't fall for Mr. Cob and that I needed to end things before it got any further. And I decided I had to tell him all this at dinner. On our first official date.
Hence, the "The Attempted Assassination Night" as we now call it.
I still feel bad for doing this to him. Especially when I said I wanted us to be "friends." Which is like rubbing salt in the wound. He looked like I'd just told him someone ran over his puppy. But in my mind I was doing what I thought was best. I figured he was better off not getting involved with an emotionally unstable me.
After dinner he was cold towards me. Understandably so. He avoided me for a few days and I thought the friend path wasn't even going to be an option. But luckily he talked to one of his good buddies (who was later a groomsman in our wedding) about the whole situation. B told him to not be so upset and mad. Instead, he told him to keep hanging out with me and continue to flirt with me and continue to be the same charming guy I'd gotten to know the past couple of weeks. If I wanted to be friends, well great, Mr. Cob had a new friend. If I wanted to be friends with "benefits", even better. And if I wanted more, then we'd start dating. Thankfully for my future love life, Mr. Cob listened to B and he started appearing in my life again.
He'd send me songs to listen to. Not happy songs, but sad, meaningful songs, which for some reason was exactly what I wanted to hear. He'd flirt with me on AOL instant messenger. We'd go to lunch together and just kept hanging out. He even listened to me complain about the ex.
But I still wanted to be "just friends."
And then there was this whole bit involving "The Klink" and everything changed...
I know, it's Wednesday and this is the day I usually post my weekly pooch pic and I haven't. I forgot last week too. Sorry. I'll do my best to have something tomorrow.
I've been busy, very busy. Work is busy. Life is busy. So the blog has been put on the back-burner.
But here's a couple of highlights from the past week:
1. Mr. Cob cruised from Port Canaveral to the Bahamas and back to celebrate his parents' 30th wedding anniversary!
2. I stayed home and partied on the town for my friends' bachelorette party.
3. A 28 week pregnant woman should not be in a bar.
4. Especially one that plays such songs as "Its Gettin Hot in Herrrr" and other similar gems where people are grinding on one another.
5. My mother is a savior. She helped me clean my house for over 6 hours on Sunday.
6. Don't judge the fact that my house needed 6 hours of cleaning.
7. We have a water leak in our pantry. After some investigation, we learned the leak was from screws we used in hanging the shelves in our pantry. The shelves were put up in February of 2009.
8. We may or may not have urine in our walls. Details (and pictures) to follow...
9. Hypnobirthing rocks. At the very least it forces me to sit and "meditate" (i.e. relax and be still) for 25 minutes each day. I now look forward to this time every day.
10. Lukas is feeling very heavy these days.
11. He's only going to get heavier as the next 11 or so weeks go on...
12. I'm having a baby in 11 or so weeks.
13. I'm kind of freaking out.
I promise a more exciting post will come in the next day or so. Until then I will leave you with these amazing pictures my sis-in-law sent me from their recent trip to Mount Shasta in Cali - isn't this beautiful?!?!
I tipsily leaned over and whispered to my knight, “I probably should be telling you this, but I have a little crush on you.”
I don’t remember his reaction and I don’t know what he thought (probably that I’d had a bit too much to drink and was just flirting and wanting attention – I supposed I should ask him what is initial thoughts were to my declaration). But we spent the rest of that evening chatting, but nothing more.
A few days later it was time for The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, also known as the Georgia/Florida football game weekend down in Jacksonville, FL. A large group of us were going down together and staying in a hotel, the King and Prince in St. Simons, GA. So Thursday after class my three girlfriends and I piled into one of our cars and followed Mr. Cob and three of the other guys down to the beach. At this point I knew Mr. Cob made me laugh, so I gravitated toward him. But I didn't think anything of it. I remember finding myself talking to him at every stop along the trip. At the first gas stop we sat on the curb eating chips together. Then once we got to St. Simons we stopped at a Wendy’s or Arby’s and I remember hoping he’d come sit next to me. Looking back, I was more interested than I realized at the time.
Once we checked in to our hotel we all got dressed and made our way to the bars. Mr. Cob and I found ourselves together yet again – sitting outside at a table talking. This was the first picture we have together. If you know me, this is one of my quintessential poses.
Well the talks must have been good, because once we returned to the hotel we continued our talk on the balcony of my room. We stayed up drinking and talking until very late in the evening (or I should say early in the morning). I’m still not sure how he put up with my constant smoking, as he hates cigarette smoke, but I guess he thought I was worth it. And sometime, late in the middle of the night, on the balcony listening to the waves crash along the beach, we shared our first kiss. And continued talking about any and everything. And finally we retired for the evening to our separate rooms, only for Mr. Cob to come knocking back on my door two minutes later asking if he could sleep on our couch since he’d locked himself out of his room. (sidenote: the man always loses his keys...)
In the morning we decided to go get breakfast together, along with our matchmaker Katie, and planned on relaxing by the beach all day with our friends.
This would continue to be a very romantic story, if I wasn’t such a superficial person. But I am, or I should say I was. (I’d like to think I’ve changed in the past five years). As Katie and I waited in her car for Mr. Cob to come out and get breakfast, I relayed the nights events to her, to which she was very surprised. Mr. Cob wasn’t exactly my “type” and I hadn’t really clued her in to my growing feelings. She just told me to have fun and was glad I was getting over the ex. But Mr. Cob isn’t the most fashionable person and when I saw him coming down the stairs to meet us for breakfast wearing his Hawaiian shirt, red swim trunks and “Jesus” sandals, my superficiality was in full effect and I suddenly wondered what I had gotten myself into. And as much as I hate to admit this, I wasn’t overly friendly to him for the rest of that day. I even remember Katie asking me if I thought this would go anywhere and I emphatically said “No way.”
Shows how much I know.
I did spend more time with him as the weekend went on. We have some great pictures from tailgating and I’m sure my flirt factor increased in connection with the number of mimosas I consumed. Looking back, I think I was just nervous to possibly "like" someone again, and so soon, so I pushed him away and confused him by my constant wavering and change my feelings towards him.
But he persisted once we were back in Athens and decided to ask me out on an actual date to dinner. To which I said yes.
And then the “Attempted Assassination Night” occurred...
In honor of my two year wedding anniversary coming up later this month, I thought it be fun to write about how it is that Mr. Cob and I got together. Here's the very beginning of the story...
I broke up with Mr. Cob on our very first date. It’s true. He asked me to dinner, I said yes, and then at dinner I told him we couldn’t be romantically involved. Go me.
So how did we manage to become betrothed almost two years ago? It’s actually a funny story.
Mr. Cob and I both started UGA law in the Fall of 2004, but didn’t actually meet until an entire year later. Our class of about 200 was broken up into three sections and you have all your first year classes with the same 70 people. He was a “Y” and I was a “Z”. But I had a handful of friends who were Y-ers, and Mr. Cob and I went to many of the same events over those first 9 months of school. But our paths never really crossed. I spent most of my weekends driving back “home” to Atlanta to visit my then-boyfriend, so I wasn’t heavily involved in the law school social scene that first year, and I wasn’t exactly “looking” for a new man.
Mr. Cob and I officially met on a Friday night in early September of 2005 at a keg party at a fellow student’s house. My friend Katie, a Y-er with Mr. Cob, introduced us. The introduction wasn’t one for the story books – we had both been drinking (Mr. Cob heavily due to flip cup) and I was still in a relationship. Mr. Cob also assumed I was Katie’s friend from out of town and figured it wasn’t worth putting the effort in to impress a girl who was only going to be in town for the weekend. So with that simple hi, nice to meet you, we each separately went on with our night.
The next day was game day. If you’ve ever been to UGA or have any knowledge of SEC football, you know that tailgating is huge down South. The law school puts on a tailgate for each game and most of our friends tailgated that year on North Campus, so Mr. Cob and I found ourselves together again. This is when I got a peek into his personality and just how funny he is. But it didn’t matter, he still thought I was just in town for the weekend, so he was kind to me, but didn’t try to win me over. (Looking back, this was probably for the best since he wasn’t nervous and just showed me his true hilarious self.) And I had a boyfriend.
But then the next weekend I found myself newly single and a bit of a train wreck. Even though it was obvious my relationship needed to end (much sooner than it actually did, in fact) it was still difficult. I went through the typical girl reaction of feeling not good enough and like I was never going to find love again. I began going out regularly testing out Athens 50+ bars (…ok, yes, I’d already spent 4 years of undergrad in Athens and had tested the waters quite thoroughly, but it had been a solid year that I’d been out of the scene and there were new bars to try…), drinking lots of wine, smoking cigarettes again and just feeling depressed. This depression lasted for a good month and a half. I was still heavily embedded in it when Mr. Cob and I started hanging out, which happened gradually. Actually it just sort of happened because we had the same group of friends and I was in Athens on a regular basis. Oh, and he finally realized that I wasn’t Katie’s out-of-town friend, but was actually a law student. My habitual studying in the law library and sitting a few rows away from him in class tipped him off.
Nothing really sticks out in my mind that first month of my new singledom aside from being emotionally unstable and going out with the girls all too often. Mr. Cob has since told me that we had a couple of awkward exchanges at various bars – mostly my being drunk and incoherent and him blowing me off as this crazy chic. And then the law school Halloween party happened. And the ball started rolling when a slutty nurse (um, me) went up to this knight in shining armor (Mr. Cob) and whispered something in his ear….
I've renewed my vow to continue exercising these last 12 weeks of my pregnancy. I did pretty good in the first trimester and OK in the second trimester, but it has been SO HOT in Atlanta since May that I've fallen off the wagon a bit. The last thing I want to do is walk outside or drive to the gym after a long day of work when the weather is in the mid to upper 90s. But really, hot weather is no excuse. I always feel so much better about my body and have more energy when I'm regularly working out. So last night I set the alarm to "early" this morning, woke up at 6:40am, laced up my running shoes, leashed the dog, ate a banana and was out the door by 6:50am. The temperature wasn't too bad yet, so we were able to go on a decent 1.7 mile walk. Wrigley was so excited to be out and about and I felt pretty good myself. So this is my public declaration to continue working out a little every day. Whether it be prenatal yoga, swimming or walking the dog, I will get in some exercise for myself and Lukas.
Did I mention that I went to the doctor yesterday? And they weighed me. Yes, well, this could have something to do with my motivation to exercise. It "could". That's all I'm saying.
This week Mr. Cob and I attended our first birthing class. As I've mentioned before, we decided to take classes in HypnoBirthing, which is one of a handful of childbirth classes out there. (The other "main" ones are Lamaze, Bradley, and Alexander). We decided upon HypnoBirthing, rather than the other methods, for a few reasons: 1. My sister-in-law and friend L both took the classes (but from a different instructor) and had positive experiences (though L is currently, at this moment, in the process of birthing her baby, so we may have to get an update from her about how the HypnoBirthing actually worked in labor/delivery); 2. I have some fear surrounding labor and delivery and from what I've heard, Hypnobirthing helps you feel empowered as a woman and teaches you to let go of the fear; 3. I read too much and have been reading about the pros and cons of natural childbirth versus "a medicalized labor with pain medication" and I really want to attempt a natural childbirth, but fully understand this will require serious preparation and commitment; 4. I believe there is a strong mind-body connection and the mind is more powerful than we give it credit for and HypnoBirthing helps you tap into this connection; and 5. Our insurance will reimburse us for the class.
The first class was great. Our instructor, Fran, has been teaching HypnoBirthing (“HB” for short) for over 10 years and is a certified hypnotherapist. I especially liked the fact that while she told us that her bias is for a natural childbirth, she knows everyone and every birth is different and that you can still use the HB methods regardless of the type of birth you end up having. Phew, so I don’t have to 100% commit to this natural childbirth plan right now. Although, I get the sneaking suspicion that I’ll be slightly brainwashed into believing I can do a natural childbirth before the course is over, which to be honest, is part of the course. The biggest point that came across from our first class was that you have to let go of the fear. Fear = tension = pain. If you don’t have fear, your body can remain relaxed and do what it is meant to do. So I’m working on releasing my fears. Fran gave us a history of childbirth through the years and why it is thought of as such a painful experience in our culture. Her goal is to get us to have a birth that is not “unduly painful.” I’m all for that!
Aside from the historical walk down birthing lane, we also saw video footage of two live births from women who practiced HB. First off, this is the first time I have ever actually seen a baby coming out of a woman. WOW. So while that was an interesting sight in and of itself, I was more taken aback by the calmness in these women. Their bodies stayed relaxed and limp throughout the labor and delivery. As each woman would have a contraction, it appeared that she entered into a trance-like state and just calmly laid there through the contraction. No moaning, no grimacing. They each had absolutely no outward appearance of pain. It was enough to make me think there is something to this HB and want to learn as much as I can.
Towards the end of the class, Fran lead us through a guided relaxation. Or, as I think its more accurate to say, she hypnotized us. Well she hypnotized me. Mr. Cob, not so much. There was one point in the process where she told us our legs were getting heavy and that once she got to the count of zero we would not be able to lift our legs. I was very skeptical. But she counted backwards from 5 to 0 and told us to try to lift our legs. Sure enough, mine were “glued” to the floor. I tried with all my might to move them, but could not. She then went through the same exercise with our eyelids and I could not lift those either. So apparently, I’m easily hypnotized, which for HB, is not a bad thing. I’m just not sure how I’m going to be able to self-hypnotize in an instant when I’m in labor, but I suppose that is what we’ll learn over the next four weeks.
We have some homework assignments to help with the process. Each day I have to listen to a guided relaxation/hypnosis CD; affirm that my baby is moving into the perfect birthing position, and listen to a CD of affirmations. We also are reading the book, Hypnobirthing: the Mongan Method, which supplements the HB information we learn in class. And I have to do deep breathing exercises each day.
I’m convinced the HB is going to work and that it will be extremely helpful for Lukas’ arrival. I’ll let you know how it goes as we continue with the course and I practice self hypnosis. For anyone in Atlanta who is interested, we are taking the class through Stress Management Resources.
Cob here. We picked out a theme for Lukas’ room this weekend. Very exciting. It is this adorable theme of lions, bears and tigers playing soccer, baseball and football. It is so cute. Yes, I do sound like Mrs. Swan saying that, but it is true.
However, the choosing of said pattern was brutal. Absolutely brutal. Here is the thing. Mrs. Swan wanted something classy. Something subtle. Mauve, sea foam, and other colors that make the baby’s room look like it should be in a Restoration Hardware catalog. Granted, I understand her position. We are the ones who have to look at it all the time. He is just a baby, he won’t understand the décor anyway.
I guess I beg to differ. To me, the idea is to surround Lukas with as much stimulation, learning opportunities as possible. This kid is going to spend the first 6 months of his life just looking around at stuff. A lot of the time he is going to be in this crib and in his room. Now, what can he learn, or even focus on, by looking at what is essentially a catalog lay out. To me, lets show him lions, soccer balls, dinosaurs, and dinosaurs eating lions while kicking soccer balls. Things that will trigger his imagination.
This is not to say that I was going to veto a “classy” bedroom set. Ultimately, this theory of mine, even if true, is probably no substitute for good old fashioned parenting, i.e. reading books, brushing your teeth, and not cursing too much. In fact, we were going to go with a cartoony owls pattern matched with some plaid stuff that was pretty good. I was down with it. But ultimately, Mrs. Swan realized that she really didn’t have a clue what she wanted in a room. And I did. So Animal All-Stars it is.
Then we got home and I went to my improv class. After class, I came home to find a beaming wife. Apparently, in cleaning out kids stuff form my room growing up, she came across all the adorable little sports and dinosaur things I had in my room growing up (which quite frankly I had mostly forgotten about). The big find was my grandfather’s baseball glove from the 1930s and 1940s (which he played catch with me using as late as the 1990s). Growing up I had it hanging in my room along with some autographed baseballs. Inspired, Mrs. Swan started going on some vintage baseball sites and found vintage baseball pennants, football and soccer posters etc. She was now very excited to decorate the room in a vintage sports theme. Needless to say, we are both excited about making this room fun.
You: Now, why the hell is he talking about home decorating? I thought I knew this man, is he sick? Schizophrenic? Did she just write this post and put his name at the top? Me: Well after having “won” the great room debate (as I am calling it in my head), I began thinking about my theory. Essentially, I am trying to brainwash my son. And I am so excited about it. Maybe brainwashing is too strong of a word, but quite frankly, everything motivating me right now are my plans to introduce him to all the “things” that I love. I love the Cubs – so I am getting him a Cubs hat, just like Daddy. Soccer – I bought a mini soccer ball (that I presently kick around with the dog) with the thought of teaching him to play soccer. Science –Animals, especially dinosaurs. I always found dinosaurs are so mind blowing as a child, I mean essentially monsters roamed the earth. Learning Stuff - I have these flash cards of trivia questions about literature, math, science, history, etc. that I used to use as a kid to just teach myself random facts. I can’t wait to show those to him. Magic Cards – I used to play with my best friends and someday, maybe I can play with my kid. You know, totally nerd out with him.
A little bit of this, I acknowledge, is part of me dreaming of being able to act like a kid again. It is fueled by the nostalgia of what a great childhood I had. And he may not like all of it; he may not like any of it, really. But, like all parents, I am putting the stimuli in place to emphasize those things in his young life. It is why members of a family tend to have similar values. As parents, I think we try to give our children the things that we think are great, which necessarily means a little bit of brainwashing is going to happen.
You: But wait… I thought he was really into comedy too. SNL, Mr. Show, Monty Python, The State, The Comedians of Comedy, Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!
Other You: Yeah, you’re right, isn’t he a complete weirdo? He laughs at stuff that doesn’t make any sense.
Other Other You: Yeah, sometimes he talks to himself in the mirror in different accents. Surely his isn’t going to take the kid to see Patton Oswalt, or watch the Big Lebowski?
Me: That is correct. The Dude will have to wait a bit. I am reminded of a bit that Patton Oswalt does. He talks about his parents growing up being boring government employee parents and how that forced him to be an angry little world traveler with a killer sense of humor.
You: So does this mean only three more months of Cob’s jokes and voices?
Me: Well, kind of. Let me explain. My parents are complete weirdos. They look normal, they act normal. And for most of my life, I thought my father (government official) was a straight laced as they come. After all, the FBI had to ask our neighbors if he had “wild parties” once every couple of years. Trust me though, they’re nuts. They have a great sense of humor, they are so very funny and we have such a great time together.
But I have to be honest with you. I really didn’t know that growing up. My memories of them as a child is that they were rather serious people. My dad still thinks Norm McDonald “Isn’t funny.” But I think that is what made humor so fun to me. Like Patton, I felt like my quirky ways were some how dangerous, exciting, and little bit against mom and dad’s wishes. It fueled that silly side of me and encouraged me to take pride in being a weirdo. It encouraged me to forget what people think about me and just have fun.
Looking back, I clearly was wrong about my perceptions of my parents. I don’t know how many twelve year olds watched SNL nearly every week, or were allowed to catch Monty Python everyday after school. And they never scolded me for being a goof ball. Looking back, I see that they encouraged me, but it was subtle, such that I felt like it was my own this. I didn’t realize this, or how funny they really were until I was older, when I got to college. Then the family dynamic changed and it is great. The best part is that now I see a bit of what I imagine my parents were like before they had me and had to “get responsible.”
So there is my challenge, ladies and gentlemen. I know for the first ten years of Lukas’ life, I am going to have to keep my comedic indulgences on the DL. You know, DVR the latest episode of Always Sunny… and watch it later. And this is fine. But let me tell you this, I can’t wait for the day when he looks at the DVD collection and says “Dad what is Monty Python?” and instead of saying “I will tell you when you’re older” I can say to him “Well, have you ever heard of the Parrot Sketch? No? Pop it in. John Cleese is one of my favorites.”
On that note, I leave you all with a little game that I have been playing with my best friends and soon-to-be “uncles” Ronnie Trey and Kung Pao. Someday the four of us will share this little bit of gold with him. It is inspired by the famous Bill Brasky, described herein: Bill Brasky: Holiday Inn
So in that vein, Kung Pao, Ronnie Trey, and Mr. Cob present…
Baby Lukas is a hell of guy!
[Interior Irish Pub. Three Drunks are drinking beer from glasses shaped as boots, as typically found in bars in Brussels]
Drunk No. 1: Do you know baby Lukas?
Drunk No. 2: I know Baby Lukas.
Drunk No. 3: Baby Lukas is a hell of a guy!
Drunk No. 2: Well he stands 5 foot 6, and weighs 165 pounds.
Drunk No. 1: Yeah. He’s a Genius too. He correctly spelled the word "subtle" at age 3 months, don’t ya know!
Drunk No. 2: Yeah, he’s been changing his own diapers for months now!
Drunk No. 3: You know he only gets his news from the BBC
Drunk No. 1: Baby Lukas delivered himself and slapped the doctor!
Drunk No. 2: He put together his own crib dont ya know!
Drunk No. 3: Baby Lukas just signed with the Miami Heat for the league maximum
Drunk No. 1: They say Baby Lukas warms his own bottle simply by staring at it.
Drunk No. 2: I heard he changes his grandparents' diapers as well as his own!
Drunk No. 3: Well, he's been known to rock his father to sleep at night!
Busy does not even begin to describe our weekend or the past few weeks. Since I made my Before Lukas Arrives “To Do List” on July 13th, we have knocked quite a few tasks off the list. The house has changed in some dramatic ways and I can’t wait to share the final pictures with you, but unfortunately every room is still in some state of chaos, so we’re not quite ready for pictures. Here’s an update:
1. Organize/clean back part of basement (probably should put up blinds or some window covering); move tools, bikes, golf clubs, stroller, Christmas decorations, odds and ends/childhood memento boxes, sporting equipment, etc. out to this area so that we can “finish” the big part of the basement. – DONE (almost completely). We painted the room, laid the vinyl tiles, added a storage unit, put up four of the six blinds, moved all the sporting equipment, beach chairs, work shoes, paint and other odds and ends that needed new homes to this space. The only thing left is to hang the remaining two blinds and continue organizing and moving in additional items for storage.
2. Replace 2 blinds (killed by Ms. Wrigley and her accomplice Lydia) over basement windows - DONE
3. Clean/organize basement bathroom & take clothes to Goodwill – HALF DONE. The clothes have been bagged and are ready to be taken to Goodwill and the contents of the bathroom have been moved, but the bathroom is now filled with new stuff that doesn’t belong (paint supplies and baby stuff…).
4. Temporarily carpet the basement – need to price carpet tiles. DONE!!! As it would turn out, carpet tiles are more expensive than carpet, so we changed directions. Rather than go for a temporary fix, I found a great deal on carpet at the Carpet Depot in Decatur, bought it yesterday and had the carpet installed the same day! This room looks AMAZING now and has been transformed into actual livable space. I have a feeling it will become Mr. Cob’s very own Man Cave.
5. Move all the existing furniture from the nursery to the basement. On this weeks after work TO-DO list.
6. Clean out closet in Lukas’ room and find new homes for its inhabitants – 3/4th complete. I have compiled all of Mr. Cob’s childhood mementos into new storage bins and found new homes for almost everything else in this closet. I still need to move all our winter coats and some other random items.
7. Have door taken out and drywalled. –Hopefully will be completed in the next month (our go-to house guy has been working on a big project and we’re on hold until he completes that project).
8. Steam-vac carpet in Lukas’ room or re-carpet – need to price carpet. Leaning towards just steam-vac-ing the carpet.
9. Have built ins bookshelves built. Waiting on our house guy.
10. Pick out bedding for Lukas’ room.DONE!!! After endless weeks of wavering and indecision I finally settled on bedding today. We went with a sports theme – details to come later!
11. Paint Lukas’ room. On the agenda the weekend after next.
12. Buy crib mattress (organic mattress from Costco) (can maybe order online)
13. Put together crib for Lukas.
14. Remove current contents of dresser, desk and end table from guest room and find new homes. Half done. I removed all the contents of the dresser and filled it back up with newborn to three month clothes for Lukas thanks to my sister-in-law and cousin who have given me more baby boy clothes than I could have dreamed! I still need to clean the desk draws and end table.
15. Move dresser, desk and end table into nursery.
16. Wash Lukas’ clothes (I have hand-me-downs from Lukas' cousin Stu - lots of clothes!) – STILL NEED TO DO.; Box up clothes 9 mos. and up and store; hang or put away rest of clothes in Lukas’ dresser and closetDONE! I have two 16 gallon storage bins full of 6 month + clothes!
17. Pick up the "new" furniture for guest room.
18. Grandma Sip Sip to recover glider and make window treatments.
Hopefully my new energy streak will continue and we'll continue checking things off our list. And I promise to share pictures as soon as one of the rooms is complete!