Thursday, February 21, 2013

Excuse me, Are your Ovaries working?

It has started.  The inappropriate pregnancy conversations.  Oh joy.

Apparently it's not common knowledge at my office that I'm knocked up.

A female coworker just stopped me in the hall, smiled and looked me up and down.  She then said "I don't know how to say this." (I knew where she was going but was not going to help her out.)

I just looked at her.

She says, stuttering, "Are"

(A. What the fuck, am I fertile? Really? B. Come on. C. Did you really just say that?)

Me: Completely serious.  "No."

Crickets. Awkward silence.

Me: "You know you are NEVER supposed to ask someone if she is pregnant."

Her: "Um, well....."

Me: "But yes, I am pregnant."

Her: Huge sigh of relief washes over her. (But she's about to dig her hole.) "I mean, well you had been losing weight and then you, well, stopped."  Back peddling now... "I mean you're not big or anything, or fat, it's just that...." trailing off. 

So you're saying I'm looking plump, are you?  At least I am pregnant and not just fat.  A huge part of me wanted to just tell her no and walk off, but this is a coworker.

At least I had fun with making her feel uncomfortable.

Moral of the story. Don't ask. Ever.  

And if you must, find a better question than "Are you fertile?"  

She did tell me she was proud of me.  I'm not sure what to make of that.  Thanks, I guess.  Strange conversation all around.  But I'm sure someone else will top it soon.

 People just can't help themselves.

[UPDATE, 4 hours later]

Well that didn't take long...

In an equally exciting afternoon, I was just in the hall (again) and one of my other female co-workers stopped me to congratulate me. Which started off nice enough.

This is how it went. "I had no idea, so I asked [other female coworker] yesterday - I told her you were getting a little pudgy and wondered if you were pregnant. So congrats!"

Ok.  A. She gets points for not asking me directly. But B. Was it really necessary to tell me you noticed I was getting pudgy?

  xoxo, Pudgy Pregnant Lady


  1. You know that saying about where a man's brains are? Well, ok, we know the answer to that one, but these women?! I think just plain dumb and rude must be their excuse.....You are beautiful!!

    1. The funny/strange thing is that I know that neither of these women meant to be rude or insulting...they simply didn't think about the words they were saying! Thankfully I developed a thick skin during my first pregnancy and neither comment upset me. It was just a WTF moment!!

  2. I mean, seriously, couldn't she have just asked outright rather than question your fertility?!? Cray cray. I'm glad you found the humor in it! At what point is an announcement of some kind expected in the workplace? Or is it one of those things that just gets around like your news did...?

    1. Agreed, the thing I found so odd about the conversation was her word choice!! I made an "announcement" to my working group (of like 10 people) in early January, so I had assumed the news would trickle out from there, but apparently it hasn't! I'm hoping soon I'll be "obviously" pregnant so that anyone who doesn't know will be able to figure it out!