Day 11 here. As of the morning of Day 10 I was still going strong. I'd been completely meat-free, dairy-free, gluten-free and vegan for 9 days. Yesterday morning I broke the vegan part of that by eating a scrambled egg for breakfast because low and behold, my milk supply began to plummet. This could be because a certain little mister has started sleeping through the night (hallelujah!!!!) or it could be because I'm not eating enough protein. Or maybe it's a combination of the two. Whatever the cause, I started popping Fenugreek pills again and I ate an egg. Soon I'll be smelling like maple syrup (thanks to the Fenugreek) and hopefully producing more milk. 9 ounces is not enough to feed my little man while I'm away at work all day (for you non-baby readers, I typically send a total of 18 ounces for the day). And while I'm OK giving him formula, apparently I'm not OK with the idea of my boobs drying up like a prune and stopping nursing completely. Hence, the egg.
And then a funny thing happened. I started craving chicken. Chicken, yes chicken. So we went out to eat last night to my fave chicken place in Atlanta (Bantam + Biddy) and I ate some rotisserie chicken. And it was good. I also had a side of beets with goat cheese (oops, again breaking the vegan thing, well and the dairy thing, sort of - is goat dairy considered "dairy dairy"?) and collards (again breaking the vegan thing by accident...I didn't realize until I was eating that there was some bacon hanging out with my collards, which I happily ate). But I didn't eat my cornbread muffin. I did however eat the gluten free no-bake cookie the boys bought. Chocolate isn't on the cleanse, but do I get points for the gluten free part?
So if you want to be all technical about it, I didn't finish the cleanse. But I'm back on the wagon today - homemade granola with almond milk and berries for lunch, a green smoothie (kale, coconut water, kiwi, apple, avocado) for snack and my vegan quinoa salad for lunch with raspberries and pepitas to follow for a snack. I'm totally off my coffee addiction (and am now wondering if there is a link between my elimination of caffeine and Julian's sleeping through the night?). And generally I feel good. I'm thinking that this "cleanse", even though I'm not following it to a T for the full 21 days, is a sort of fresh start and new way of eating for me. I've been a big fan of clean eating for some time, but this has brought it to a new level. I've eating better than I ever have and I'm feeling great. And what's more, I LOVE the food. It tastes good and is satisfying.
My weight had been consistently dropping each day the first week of the cleanse. I started this cleanse at 156 (yup, I just put that out there). I dropped down to 149.6 as of Tuesday (cue super happy dance for being in the 140s again...130s here I come), but then, THEN, even with all the clean, vegan eating, before my chicken and egg day, I gained 2 WHOLE POUNDS. Yesterday morning I weighed 151.6. And today I'm up to 152.2 again. What. the. fuck. I'm trying to stay calm and be happy that my clothes definitely feel looser and I look like I've lost weight, but for the love, if I can't keep weight off eating practically only fruits and vegetables, how am I going to lose this baby weight for good? It is so infuriating. And so it goes. I know the number on the scale isn't an indicator of overall health. Yada yada yada. When you have gained 40+ pounds from having a baby, the number on the scale does matter because it tells you whether or not you have lost the weight. I have not.
I know I need to start exercising regularly again and hopefully then the weight will come off, but I feel so overextended as it is that I'm really not sure where to find the time. Last night I was up until almost 11 preparing bottles for today, folding laundry, making healthy food for today and doing all the other boring life things that must get done every day. I need another hour in my day, stat.
I know I'm being hard on myself. I know I need to give myself grace and remember that my body likes to hold on to at least 5 pounds while I'm nursing. I know these new eating habits will eventually get the weight off. I know all of this. I'd just really like to be able to wear the clothes in my closet again. And I'd like to do that soon. Sigh.
At least my boobs are still big for the time being. Which is good because they're helping to balance out my ass.