Monday, April 20, 2015

Building Your Circle

Last Thursday was a good day. I saw three of my girls. I spent two hours catching up on life with the first over a glass of wine in the middle of the afternoon. The other two came to a Beautycounter social and stayed long after the other guests had left. We could’ve kept talking for hours had the alarm clock and another work day not been lurking in the shadows. These three are my circle. My go to girls when I have issues with work, marriage, children, anxiety/depression and life. The bonds have been formed over many years – one as far back as ten years ago and the “newest” already four years strong. I know they don’t judge my brand of crazy and they are there with honest words of wisdom or an ear if I just need to talk. I’m lucky to call each one my friend.

But they’re all in Atlanta, where I no longer live. Thankfully the distance hasn’t caused any cracks in the friendships. But I get a twinge of depression anytime I see them now, knowing that I don’t have those close friends yet in Macon. I don’t have a circle here. It’s more of a dot or a speck.

I know it takes time. I’ve only been here six months, and in that time I’ve met some great women. Many of them I already consider friends and some I see so much potential for building close friendships. I know I need to be patient – you can’t force closeness and you can’t force connection. It has to happen in time and there needs to be a level of trust established. But I do hope to grow a circle here.

What I hope for the most is the honest friendships like I have with the handful in Atlanta. My friends and I were talking last Thursday about how there’s too much that people don’t talk about, and it can make you feel isolated. It can make you think something is wrong with you. Luckily my girls talk. And I like to talk. I like putting it out there. And unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your view point), I just don’t know any other way to be. I am who I am. Like me or leave me. I’d just rather be blunt than dishonest. So I hope to find some girls here who don’t mind sharing their ugly and who find comfort in having friends who lack a filter.

Making new friends really is like dating. There’s the fear of rejection and the nerves before calling to schedule a “date”. The hope that they like you too! And it’s even harder when you’re trying to find new couple friends – I mean, how often do you and your spouse both click with another couple? So far we’ve been extremely lucky to have a few of those couple friendships brewing here.

So we’re still settling in. For a while I wished I could transplant my girls from Atlanta to Macon so they’d be closer. But now I’m feeling lucky that my circle will slowly widen to include even more fabulous women. I know some people disagree, but I think you can never have too many people in your corner. Especially when those people enjoy a good glass of wine and are fun dinner companions. Even better if they have little people to keep your little people occupied while you enjoy that glass of wine!

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